Jet Lag, Round Two

OK, I’m just going to have to admit it to myself. I am no longer in Scotland. Friday morning, I fly from Edinburgh to Newark. My flight is delayed an hour, and I’m convinced it’s the gods telling me, “Stay here, stay here!” And they’re telling me this in more ways than one. An American man I’ve been speaking to for about 5 minutes asks if I’m Scottish. See? I’m so acclimated to the culture here that my own kind no longer recognises my accent or me. I’d better stay.

Finally and rather unfortunately, our flight departs. I may or may not have cried one little tear as I felt the plane wheels leave Scottish soil.

11 hours later, it’s 5 hours later. Jet lag? Definitely. When I wake up Saturday morning, I have no idea where or who I am, or what time it is, though this is not an entirely abnormal occurrence. It’s light outside, but in Scotland at this time of year, this could be anywhere from two in the morning to midnight. I stumble around and hear some strange voices coming from downstairs. Reverse culture shock? Maybe a little. Observe:

Top 10 Things I Find Strange to Find Strange at Home

10. People wear sweatpants? In real life? Really? Wait, I do too? Weird.

9. Where have all the cobblestones gone?

8. People drive all the time, everywhere.

7. It’s been a while since I’ve seen someone drink coffee instead of tea. Also, in cafés, tea comes only in mugs, not in pots. This is a very, very sad thing.

6. Sunshine and 58 degrees? Really? Is this the equator? Am I being punk’d?

5. American beers are very, very small.

4. American money is very, very dull. Also, Scotland is the only country I know of in which the appearance of notes (bills) depends on what bank it comes out of. Seriously, the banks make their own notes. We should really get on that. And here, all green, all the time? Really? I want Scotland’s purple, blue and even orange notes back.

3. Crossing the street. It’s. So. Hard. Every time I look right, I think I’m going to die, not only because I’m looking right, but also because the cars and the streets themselves are enormous.

2. Everything is bigger. Not only cars and streets, but also houses, sidewalks, humans, dogs, clothes, shoes, plates, tea cups, grocery stores, and probably a lot more I haven’t seen yet. Only one thing is smaller: swimming pools. 25 yards suddenly seems rather short.

1. Language. No one says “cheers,” “queue,” “flat” and “half five” anymore. I miss Scottish accents, and, I might as well admit it, being the person people ask about goings on in the States, being the person who has the cool accent.

0. When I look out my bedroom window I no longer see St Andrews Castle and the North Sea. Instead, it’s the roof of my garage.

I’ve been experiencing a bit of culture shock at home, too. I’d almost forgotten about chores and have gotten too used to people emptying my rubbish bins every day. Now, I have to empty my own trash cans. “Check your spelling on your blog,” my mom is telling me now. “We’ve been laughing at your mistakes all this time.” As annoying as it sometimes is, it’s good to have someone look out for me again, especially when it comes to my lacklustre spelling skills.

I think possibly what’s even odder is how quickly I acclimated to things here in the UK. I’ve been eating UK-style, cutting something and keeping the fork in the left hand, knife in the right, without even realising it. I say “cheers.” But in all honesty, I think it will be easier than I’d like it to be to switch back to the way things always were before.

That said, of course I learned a lot these past four months, and because I am back in the States and my study abroad experience is at its end, it’s time to think seriously. When I get back to Knox I’m going to have to fill out some sort of form telling the administration how living in Scotland added to my academic experience at a liberal arts college, so I figure I’d better start now.

Top 8 Things I Have Learned in Scotland

8. If you take the bus/subway the wrong way, just turn around and head back.

7. Investing in a compass would probably be a good life choice.

6. Only order beer on tap – it’s much fresher this way: in Scotland, they literally pull it up from the tubs in which it’s fermenting.

5. You may speak the same language as another person, but that doesn’t mean you can understand them, and you can still accidentally order the wrong thing in a restaurant.

4. Tony Blair and Gordon Brown are actually Scottish.

3. The United States is a very large, young country.

2. Sometimes it’s OK to mess up.

1. Scotland is not England, and it is very, very wrong to think so. Actually, you should be careful about saying anything to this affect aloud, as the Scots are rather sensitive about their nationality as Scottish, sometimes as British, depending on who you ask, and certainly not as English. This is why I want to say something to the American next to me in the airport who just asked his companion, “Is Scotland a country?”, but he also asked, shortly afterward, “Why is moonshine so dangerous?”, so I think he may be a lost cause.

It may be easy to see why the English cut their country off where they did. Scottish terrain is more treacherous; real mountains take the place of England’s rolling hills. Less of the land is farmable. It’s colder. It may rain more. The winters are darker and longer. Anyone would probably say, “oh you can have that half, I’ll take this one.” (Isn’t this a rule we learn as children, anyway: one person cuts, the other gets to choose their half?) But if the winters are darker and longer, this means the summers are longer, too, and lighter. The mountains are beautiful. If it’s easy to see why the English took the better half, it’s perhaps easier to see why the Scots love their country fiercely. The English didn’t like the weather, the landscape, the remoteness of Scotland, but that’s exactly why the Scots love it. While I had to tell the American at the airport, no, I’m not Scottish, I feel some sort of identity connection with the Scots, because that’s exactly what I love about this country, as well. Hopefully, I’ll be back.